Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Bitten
I'm being slowly bitten by the baby bug. God help me, God help us all.
It scares the hell out of me.
I'm not sure if I'm ready. I'm sure my body isn't ready. And I wish the clock wasn't ticking so loudly it's drowning out the rest of the alone time I have with my Sweet Robert.
How will I have enough energy to deal with a baby when I barely have the energy to plan a wedding and complete one stupid writing class? How will I give up Advil and Sinutab?
Will it all be worth it? My Mom complains none of us children see her enough, or call her enough, or think of her enough. How will I make sure to give my children everything they need and still nourish and develop my own interests? How will I separate my role as a mother from my own sense of self?
Do you think other women truly comprehend what it means to have a baby? Or do you think most people stumble blindly down the procreation path guided by little more than a Winnie The Poo nightlight?
Does my Mom look around at her three children and feel blessed and proud she brought us into this world? Do my parents feel like the sacrifices were worth it?
I wonder how many people really think about their reasons for wanting children before the sperm hits the egg.
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7 comments:
You & I NEED to talk.
I could post a comment, but it would likely turn into a POST of it's own!
I'll email you...
Interesting...
I sent an email to your ucalgary address...are you at work today?
Just want to make a couple points, after reading this again...
1)Children are only BABIES for a few years...you won't be that tired forever.
2) The Sinutab/Advil thing only lasts a few MONTHS. You'll manage.
3)BILLIONS of woman who love naps, baths & lazy Sundays have adapted to the demands of motherhood. You will too.
4)You are NOT your mother. You are Tiffany. Your children will not be your mothers children. They will be yours & Robs. Your experiences will not be a mirror of hers.
So then, since you posed the question first, what are YOUR reasons for wanting children?
Today is a scheduled day off! : D
To do homework. MAH.
My reasons for wanting children... Mmmm...well, they are aren't very concrete. I want the life experience of having children, sharing daily moments with them and with Rob. The experience of teaching a little person something, of passing on values, and sharing joy.
Then there's all the mopey reasons, like seeing Rob holding a little baby, and seeing a little boy or girl run happily into his arms when they see him, and even imagining his reaction when I tell him I'm pregnant, or his parents reaction.
Right now it's the notion of sharing that whole experience with Rob, as much as developing a relationship with a new little person.
Those are all awesome reasons. Pretty universal I'd say.
And peppered in with those amazing moments & experiences you just have to know that there will some sleepless nights, many encounters with bodily fluids, temper tantrams, and then in the later years some bad attitudes & important 'talks'.
And, as your kid(s) hit all the important milestones in life, your heart will want to explode with pride.
It'll be wonderful. So no need to over-analyze Tiff!
There are times when many parents regret having a kid, undoubtedly. There will be times when it is damn difficult, inconvenient, and exhausting.
Still, the moments of regret are ephemeral, while the love you'll be feeling for your child(ren) will be universal and permanent.
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