What's in a name

There are all kinds of debates on the rationale behind a woman changing her name after she gets married. Some women believe it's the equivalent of giving up your identity, others think it makes sense for the whole family to have the one name only, and still others go out of their way to hyphenate--determined for their children to bear witness to who they were before, but still be marked by "who they have become."

My first time 'round the altar, I exerted the grueling effort to change my name immediately, and was happy to do it--excited even. Changing it back a mere four years later was less than a picnic, however, and I swore if I was ever married again, I would NOT under any circumstances give up my family name. Which I believed right up until it came time to send out the wedding invitations, and I made the conscious decision to exclude all of my extended family of the same last name.

Let me clarify my maiden name is only my Dad's name legally (not by birth), and the people in my extended family of the same last name are nothing less than white trash (who have chosen to ostracize me). I could tell stories of stripper cousins managed by fathers, and of the relatives who had a child by every man they "dated", and I could describe the conditions under which they live, and the lack of character from which they all operate, and I could go on and on.

If anything, I'm upset I've now fully realized the meaning of my maiden name and everything it's associated with (my immediate family not withstanding). I like the sound of my maiden name but that's where it ends.

So, despite the effort, I have changed my name and will go through and painstakingly change all of my id (sigh).

I admit going through the process again is a little unsettling because the last time I did it, it wasn't permanent and I can't stop that thought from crossing my mind.

Onwards and upwards.

I'll try and focus on the change as the opportunity it is for a better life, one that I hoped was possible from the first moment I met my sweet Robert O. : )