Saturday, July 03, 2010
Trapped
Feeling freaked out. 31 weeks pregnant, 9 weeks to go.
9 weeks.
Baby's room is still not done. And between things I need to do to prepare for that, and everything going on at work--I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what anyone else's countdown to mat leave is like, but I'm entering what will be a very busy period between training my replacement, training a new advisor, getting everything I can into some kind of succession plan documented, oh, and two fee deadlines in the next 9 weeks. Keeping in mind I'm only working for the next 6, and in the next 4, I start reduced work days (which is a blessing, but it's not like those shorter days will be easy or breezy).
Maybe I should think about what I have left to do for the baby. Not in any particular order: clear room for painting, set up room after painting, birth plan, hospital bag, sign up for EI, buy stuff for breastfeeding/nursing.
Ugh.
And I can't even drink to procrastinate (like, the odd evening--not at 8 in the morning). : )
I know every single mom to be goes through some of this, but it does not make me feel any better. Just putting it all down makes me feel anxious.
Last night Rob and I listened to a parenting podcast, The Parent Experiment which featured a guest John Salley. I don't know much about John Salley, but the program was on nutrition and how what you're eating, you're feeding your kids, and how everything they learn they learn from you as the parents. Not an earth shattering notion, but he's a vegan so he doesn't drink milk, or eat eggs, and it was just freaking me out thinking about all the things we put into our bodies that are really lousy for us and how I now have to think about raising a healthy little being, so I can't be as cavalier.
A point of contention between my mom and I is her health. I believe that considering I did not choose to come into this world, she as my mother is obligated to be healthy to stick around for as long as I need her. A parent's job never ends, so she should choose to be healthier because I'm going to need her help my whole life. My mom is not healthy, and certainly does not role model a healthy lifestyle or choices.
It's all just a little much and too much to think about!
There's isn't even any bad reality TV I can sink my head into, or a shopping spree I can lose time over (cause I don't know the sex of the baby!--whine, whine).
Deep breath out.
Some people's lives just seem easier. Of course I had to immediately remind myself that to some people, my life seems easier.
Sigh.
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8 comments:
So, I know we chatted on the phone already, but wanted to leave a quick comment too :-)
Nothing needs to be perfect before baby arrives, but anything you can muster the energy to do now will benefit you, calm you and ultimately you'll be glad you did it. My advice? No more golfing or World Cup watching for Robert until YOU are satisfied with the baby-list progress! But, that's just me ;-P
Love you, Rob!
Anxiety and Parenting, your labels for this post. Those two words seem so well suited for each other. In my experience, the more relaxed I am about parenting, the better things go. But, that is not always easy or even possible. All you can do is try your best. And try not to let other people's idea of perfect parenting influence your own choices.
What? I posted here! Where did it go? Must have been deleted. FINE. Guess my jokes aren't appreciated here.
Anyway - Shawna's sooo right. In a year or so, you may have hundreds of posts with that label.
No, no it wasn't deleted. I promise!
I was worried Rob took offence to my saying no more golfing, or maybe you thought that would make him mad and you didn't want him to see it - I DON'T KNOW. That's why I was perplexed.
However, now that my comment is posted 3 times, I wish I'd written something more insightful! LOL.
No, it was only posted twice. I complained to blogger and they "found" the original comment.
Now I'll delete my reposting of it. : )
Rob did plaintively point out your recommendation, but I gently reminded him that I think his golf is a good thing and he's not to worry.
He doesn't hang out in bars, or go to strip clubs (that I know of), or even have many guy friends, so golf is his one outlet where he can be excited about doing well in a sport, and get together with like minded people.
I encourage it.
Plus, the baby's room is going to get done one way or another. And his golf season will be cut short as it is.
Anyway, blah, blah--no offense taken what so ever.
Sweetie, I took a whole bunch of loonies and toonies from the coin jar.
I need them for...a work-related event. Yeah, that's it.
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